There’s a super interesting discussion in here, for sure. Personally, I don’t have a problem with unfilmables. I try not to use them, but I don’t automatically hate them. That wasn’t my point. My point is that unfilmables shouldn’t carry the load in a script where the central struggle is internal. (Personal opinion, of course. Exceptions apply.) I think you have to get the struggle to the page in a visual way…and if you want to support that with unfilmables, great. (Side note, to support my above points…this one is probably going to get my vote.)
1 Like
You make some good points, Paul, much to think about! Does Decomposer get your vote for winner of the final three?
Very likely. I mean, it’s a super tough choice. I could support any of the three and feel good about it. They all stayed with me for several days after reading. Cooperville is just…well, madness. An amazing hook. Mob Mentality is straight funny. Decomposer is impactful in this incredibly slow-burning sad way. It captures the human experience so well.
But, each had one aspect that made me slightly unsure.
Cooperville…I’m still just not sure what it’s trying to say. A script that zany and a hook that fantastic…if several days later I had this light bulb moment that hit me…“This is what it meant to me.”…if it sparked a tiny bit of personal growth…it would be my choice. Right now it feels like this fantastic script with possibly a message of “Black people are inherently violent.” Now, I don’t think that’s what the point of the script is–or I wouldn’t support it at all. I just haven’t seen anything that counters that. And, that leaves me uncomfortable. Because…what if? (Of the three…this script, in my mind, has the best chance to explode. I could see this having an incredible second weekend at the box office. If only I could comfortable with the theme…)
Mob Mentality is hilarious. But, as I’ve said in the other thread…I’ve seen this work with a super young lead…but, I’m concerned that the concept/comedy won’t play with a 13-year-old lead. It absolutely works on the page. But, will it work on the screen? I’m not convinced. I am 100% prepared to be wrong about that. If it got made and it worked, I wouldn’t be surprised. But, if I’m a producer (I’m not), I don’t put money on the project until I test the concept first.
Decomposer…I’ve already laid out my thoughts in the above thread. If I were going to make this, I would develop the script just a tiny bit more. I would look at all of the unfilmable moments in the script and make sure that there was an action to translate the thought to the screen. Many of the moments won’t require any change at all–the actor will take care of it. Or, the thought will be conveyed by the setting/situation/music, etc. But, a few might be strengthened with one beat that brings it out visually. That’s super easy…a matter of hours.
3 Likes
Great comment Paul. I agree Decomposer has room for another ten pages.
Read this yesterday, went to bed thinking about it and woke up still thinking about it. Made me so uncomfortable in the best way. Is there an allegory for otherness in here, maybe body dysmorphia or disability? Feeling like a stranger in your own skin?
2 Likes
You nailed it. The main theme, amongst many sub-themes, is feeling like an outsider wherever you go and using a medium of art as a vessel to connect to other people - in this case, a camera. George, in many ways, is a reflection of myself. Outside of writing, I’m a photographer and use a camera to connect to people in ways I wouldn’t now how to socially. It means a lot that you took the time to read it. Thank you.
3 Likes
I finished reading this yesterday, and it’s really good. It felt a lot like a novel, with so many descriptions and almost no dialogue. Nothing wrong with it, but for me it was a bit though to read. There’s a lot of unfilmables, that are helpful for the actors, but challenging for a director to properly adapt to the screen. It took me a while to get fully invested in it, with its increasingly bleak tone, but it was very rewarding and hopeful at the end. It reminded me a lot to The Road and Under the Skin. I’d love to see it made.
3 Likes
Holy hell this is a transcendental screenplay. It feels so so important, like its truly special and has to be made! I feel like a different person having read it.
2 Likes
This made my day, @eliasford. Thank you for taking the time to read it. So glad to hear you enjoyed it. If not through Kinolime, we’ll find a way to make it - rain, sleat, or snow. That’s a promise.
4 Likes
Imagine how good David Dastmalchian would be as George.
2 Likes
I’ve imagined, @krosettasr10233. No seriously, I have. When writing I typically have to put a face to the character, and I 100% thought of David as I was writing. And oddly, while typically a comedic actor, I’ve also imagined Jason Segel. I think comedic actors have a way with playing lost and awkward very well, which pretty much encapsulates George.
True story time: David was at the International Horror Hotel Film Festival in 2022 promoting a comic book he co-wrote. While I wasn’t there, a friend of mine was. I told her it’d mean the world to me if she could print Decomposer (a very early draft) and find a way to hand it David. He stuck around to do a book signing, but by the time she could get to him he had to go. You gotta take your shot in this industry. Even if you will probably miss, at least you tried. But hey, perhaps another chance will come by. I’m hopeful!
4 Likes
EDIT:
This comment was directed at a mention of the screenplay “Weapons”.
I’m still getting familiar with the platform, sorry.
Just finished reading it, haven’t watched it yet but looking forward to that. Looking forward to how it translates to screen.
1 Like
That’s an awesome story Mason. Good shout @krosettasr10233, I love Dastmalchian. What a serendipitous suggestion. I don’t know who I was thinking of as George during my first read through, but I remember settling on Brian Baumgartner for one of the later hosts. I love an against type casting like that!
2 Likes
Hey there! Did you enjoy Weapons? I thought it was a great premise but I felt a bit let down by it. That’s one of the reasons I love Decomposer so much, is that it’s an internal story in many ways. When stuff is set up to be scary or mystifying, it’s so hard to pull off the reveal. The fear of the unknown is always scarier than learning a witch did it, or someone was a vampire, or whatever the big reveal is. The McDonalds make no attempt to really explain the holes in the earth or the parasites, or their objective goal – and I LOVE that!
4 Likes
@meara call me crazy, but contrary to popular belief, I actually think the audience doesn’t want their hand held. I think they’d rather have the space to form their own opinion than having one forced upon them - than having a “truth” brought to light. I do think it’s important that the writer knows exactly what happens, to have their own truth, but tell it in a way that the readers have room to wander in their thoughts. So I really appreciate you saying that. Thank you.
Also, Brian Baumgartner would be an excellent later in the story host! I am a huge fan of casting opposites!
2 Likes
It takes confidence as a writer to know what story you’re telling and stick with it. This wasn’t a story about the holes or the goals of the parasites. This was the story of one parasite…one very lonely, disillusioned parasite and its search for fulfillment. Oddly, that’s what made it such a “human” story. Had the writers strayed from that to spend pages explaining the larger story world, it would only have distracted from the spine of the story…lessening the impact of the entire piece. Kudos to Tabitha and Mason. That’s experience and skill showing through.
5 Likes
Enjoyed it, for sure. As far as Decomposer goes, it definitely needs to be produced. All three of the competitors, a waste if any of them get shelved and forgotten.
2 Likes
I can’t remember how late the switch happens. But, the thought did occur to me weeks after the read that it might be hard to attract talent to a lead role that doesn’t allow the star to “bring the story home.” I’d be curious to see what talent says about that, if anything. Hope we get to find out. 
@pkcardinal - Indeed. Killing your lead in the last 3rd is a big swing. But to know if it works, well, you gotta swing! While visually the face we’ve come to associate the lead with will be gone, the real lead isn’t George at all, but the parasite within. Which we do follow to the very end. I too would be curious to see how talent feels about that though. Interesting observation!
I’m definitely not thinking it’s a deal killer…it’s just one of those random thoughts that I had while thinking about the script. To quote one of my favorite movies ever…“Swing away!”
2 Likes