After a narcissistic and villainous princess’ twentieth attempt to enslave her kingdom gets her sentenced to a rehabilitation center for defective princesses, she reluctantly becomes an aspiring knight’s squire to escape the center, while secretly plotting to seize a ring powerful enough to threaten every kingdom.
Imagine Tangled, but if Rapunzel had the personality of Regina George.
Hi everyone!
Some of you may remember me from Armstrong - D.U. I’ve been working on a new animated feature screenplay, Lora, The Wayward Princess, and I wanted to share the opening here and see how it lands with other writers.
Rather than dropping the full 109-page screenplay, I’m sharing the first 25 pages. They cover the setup, the rehabilitation center and the beginning of the central dynamic between Lora and Fiodor.
I’m particularly curious about your first impressions of Lora, whether the comedy and animated tone come through on the page, and what happens to your perception of her once Fiodor enters the story.
Most importantly, I’d love to know whether the Lora/Fiodor dynamic works for you and whether, after these 25 pages, you’d want to keep reading.
Any other feedback is welcome too. Thanks to anyone who gives it a read!
I came across your post about Lora, The Wayward Princess. What caught my attention is that you’re not simply asking whether the opening works — you’re interested in how the whole story lands for someone encountering it without having spent months inside its world.
That’s an important distinction. Sometimes a story can be perfectly clear to its author, while a first-time reader experiences the character dynamics, emotional turns or overall progression quite differently.
I’m curious: now that the full 109-page screenplay is complete, are you mainly looking for an overall reader’s impression, or are there particular aspects of the story you’re still uncertain Hi Alex!
I came across your post about Lora, The Wayward Princess. What caught my attention is that you’re not simply asking whether the opening works — you’re interested in how the whole story lands for someone encountering it without having spent months inside its world.
That’s an important distinction. Sometimes a story can be perfectly clear to its author, while a first-time reader experiences the character dynamics, emotional turns or overall progression quite differently.
I’m curious: now that the full 109-page screenplay is complete, are you mainly looking for an overall reader’s impression, or are there particular aspects of the story you’re still uncertain about?about?
