With next year’s housing plans in ruins, a wallflower college kid has only a short ski trip to jockey his way into the lives of the dorm bad boys and their perfect campus house.
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I’m such a massive fan of this screenplay and want to take my hat off to the writer for creating such a relatable protagonist. It’s tough to make us so aligned with a hero without a cheesy ‘save the cat’ moment sometimes, but because this has such a level of realism - this guy being socially uncomfortable is so relatable. Plus, the fear of missing out is a killer. This might be one of the best examples I’ve seen of making us love a fairly passive protagonist. Any other good shouts out there?
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I really liked this one, but I didn’t 100% get why Ian was so hung up on the dream house. You know, maybe if he went to a party there or saw how awesome the place was or the people who currently live there… something that made it clear why he wanted that life so bad. I just needed a little more to buy into it. Also felt like the Jackson subplot could’ve used a bit more. Other than that though, I thought it was super solid. 8.5/10.
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Nick in the great Gatsby and Florence Pugh in Midsommer?
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Ah, Nick Carroway, how could I forget. Not sure I agree on Midsommar, I feel like the lead kind of invites herself along because she doesn’t want to be left alone - if I recall correctly - so does have a hand in involving herself with the plot, though I certainly see what you’re saying, she doesn’t make a lot of decisions once she’s at the festival.
I see your other comment about Jackson, what do you think could improve this in your eyes? I empathised with his situation quite a bit personally, but I’m interested in your opinion.
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Not sure that Jackson is likeable enough for me to care about dropping out. Because he’s immediately standoffish or even deceptive about quitting, I don’t get a good guy vibes from him. It’s a minor gripe but I wish he was more on the fence and Ian was doing more to try and persuade him to stay.
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Interesting take Alan. I don’t 100% agree - I feel as though there’s a legitimacy to young men going through these kind of struggles without really discussing them or airing their feelings. I’m also a big ‘fear of missing out’ guy, I feel like sometimes the ‘what if’ of a situation is enough to motivate me - or in this case, understand the motivation.
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Welcome to the community, @adawessr3344!
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Fair enough, different strokes for different folks. I didn’t dislike him none, just didn’t love him either.
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Hey Kole!
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Right on, there’s no right or wrong for screenwriting - it’s all subjective. I’m doing an article for the website right now on some great screenplays that break the rules. Keep an eye out! Do you write yourself or are you here to help us pick the next Kinolime production?
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I don’t write but I’m thinking about it. Been a film buff for more than twenty years and want to learn more about the process. I feel like there’s a good story in me. My friend got into the top thirty in the first competition. My goal is to have a screenplay ready for next year.
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Thank you @meara for the recommendation, this was a really interesting read. That middle section with the hot tub and the skiing forfeits really made me feel like I was in high school again… mortifying… Please vote for this one guys, I want to see it!
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Glad to hear you loved it as much as I do Alice! Vote fast, spread the word, it’s the final weekend of this round!
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Same brother. Got to kick into gear to get mine ready for the next competition.
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Hello kndlovusr12189, welcome to the forum! Wishing you luck in writing your screenplay, we’re excited to read it when entries reopen!
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