Two boys with opposite views on planning learn the values and limits of taking action and thinking things through when their friend goes missing on their unsupervised hike.
NOTE: “Isaiah” on page 1 is meant to be Michael, but I mistyped it because I switched the names halfway through writing 
Jay,
I just wanted to say I enjoyed your script. The characterization was strong and the situation had me invested in the outcome. That’s good storytelling.
On first reading, the script didn’t quite hit as hard at the end as I had hoped. But, I better understood your intentions for Michael once I read your director’s statement (which I did after reading the script.) Perhaps there’s a way for you to more directly tie the story resolution to Michael’s internal transformation?
Mostly just wanted to say good job and good luck in the competition!!
Best,
Paul
Oh, and don’t sweat the Isaiah/Michael thing. We’ve all done that at least once!
Yeah, to be honest, I wasn’t completely satisfied with the ending, either. It went through a few variations, and this is just the one that went through for the sake of time. Would love to hear what you think would’ve made a more satisfying conclusion to the story!
Oh yeah, get used to that “not completely satisfied” feeling. That’s every day for a screenwriter.
So…I’ll try to give you MY short answer. Others will disagree. All of us will be correct. 
I’m more and more becoming a believer in the idea that certain types of screenplays benefit from a singular, clear point of view. In your case, that would mean centering your POV squarely, and almost exclusively, on Michael. Doing so allows you to easily set up the audience’s experience. You will be telling them the story of the transformation of Michael. So…the setup…as you already have it…Michael has a strong desire to control/plan. (Give us even a hint of the “why?” and you’ll REALLY hook the audience.) The main plot of the story then challenges Michael’s position. His friend gets lost. (Again…as you have it.) How does he respond? By planning. Fighting to control the uncontrollable. (The more specific and direct his actions are in relation to his emotional battle, the better. How EXACTLY does he attempt to control? Don’t show him contemplating/arguing. Show him DOING. And, failing.) All of this sets up the transformation. The ending. He must somehow RELEASE that control…and be rewarded for doing so. (He can’t just SAY he’s releasing control. He has to ACTIVELY do so.) How do you show that? Hehe. That’s the hard part, right? It would be easier if it were reversed…he’s happy-go-lucky but needs to learn that some situations call for calculation and planning. You chose the hard road. (Good for you!) Let me ponder some and see if I can’t present an idea or two to get you started.